Aug 5, 7 & 10th, 1980

August 5, 1980 (Tuesday)

Cam just left. He came over & gave me an onyx souvenir ashtray. I’ll use it to put rings in it. We watched a movie entitled “Seance on a Wet Afternoon.” It was real good! We had a good time. I decided I’ll let him make all the first moves.

I decided it’s more fun dating 4 guys instead of just one.

Gotta go!

1) Tracy

2) Cam

3) Scott Cam kisses better. Scott’s too pushy.

4)Jim

August 7, 1980 (Thursday)

Tonite I went out with Scott. We went to play miniature golf and he won. His score was 58 & mine was 62. Then we went to White Rock Lake & took a walk. You know, I have a great time with Scott until he kisses me. And then, I cringe. Well, it’s not that bad, he just isn’t gentle enough. Jim’s a lot better kisser (so is Cam), but Scott’s more fun to be with (than Jim, anyway). The problem with Cam is, we both know it wouldn’t work, so we’re careful, especially him. I can’t wait until Saturday nite & see how Tracy turns out. I look at it this way. I’d like for Tracy & I to get back together, but until then, I have 3 other guys back at home.

1) TRACY

2) Cam

3) Scott

4) Jim

I’ve already worked out my schedule for next year.

1) History 101

2) English 201

3) Biology 115

4) Select Choir

5) Madrigals

6) Voice (private)

I’ll be sure & write when I get back from the cabin.

BYE!!!

August 10, 1980 (sunday)

Well, I’m back from the cabin. To put it to the point, things didn’t work out like I wanted. The most it did was remind me of how much I love him. We went at friends with a bunch of other people. In fact, Tracy didn’t pay for anything, but a friend of his, Jeff, paid for a lot of my stuff. Tracy spent most of his time flirting with other girls, so I flirted with Jeff. I would have had a wonderful time if I just thought of Tracy as a friend. But Lord knows, I love him. Dee Ann seems to think he was making me jealous. I doubt it. At least, now maybe we can see each other & be friends without uncomfortableness. That’s really important to me.

OH WELL!

Scott, Jim or Cam will call tomorrow nite. Maybe all 3!!!

I feel a little stupid coz I was so excited & told everybody about him coming by, & writing me a letter and all.

I DON’T UNDERSTAND!!

Aug. 10, 1980

THE OLD LOVER’s REUNION

After a big absence of him,

Wondering how he is,

And What he is feeling

He came back.

Only for a short time.

Not even a day.

Just long enough

To renew old memories

And break my heart once more.

Just long enough

For me to realize

I love him

Maybe now, more than ever.