Family & Friends - June 1984 Pt. 2

JUNE 18, 1984

Monday

Well, I saw Evita last night again. I thoroughly enjoyed it one more time. Evita is bound to be one of the most powerful musicals to ever hit a stage. The story line, the music and the acting is tremendous. Florence Lacey played Evita (she was the same as last time.) But what I was REALLY excited about is the actor who played Juan Peron was the original Broadway Peron. Yes, the same on the album. That’s really something. His voice was so much better than the Peron last year. I did like Che better last time, though.

I just read my old program and to my amazement, all of the same actors that were in it last time were in it this time. That’s kind of funny since I went on and on how much better this year’s Peron was and last year’s Che was better. Now I knew the girls who played Evita was the same.

I thought I’d add that Ghostbusters was really great! I loved it! It’s not just stupid like a lot of other Bill Murray movies. It was really very clever.

Now for the part I’ve been delaying. I sometimes just don’t know about Barry and me. There are days that I feel we are great together and then SNAP! I get easily made at him or vice versa and I don’t like that. I’ve been seriously wondering if I’m even in love with him at all. I know I love him, but then I’ve loved him since the night I met him (and I was interested in Randall.)

What started all this was the other night (Thursday night, after Ghostbusters) I told Barry I didn’t know whether or not I wanted to spend the night at his house Saturday night or not because I had such a busy weekend coming up I wanted to be sure and get plenty of sleep. Well, he just threw a big fit and said “Are you trying to say you want to date other people?” (Apparently, he’s been feeling this on the inside.) I said “What are you talking about? I just don’t know if I should spend the night or not.” Then I said “Are you trying to tell me YOU want to start dating other people?” He replied “No, you know me, if you start dating other people, I’ll just sit around and mope.

I really don’t know much about anything. Barry has been the biggest part of my life now for eight months. It surely would seem strange without him, or to even cut down on seeing each other so often. I really think I would date someone else (if I was asked and interested) but the thing is I have no one in particular in mind. Sometimes I think I ought to just call it off and then I think I should just act like nothing has changed. But neither can be done. I’ll have to go for something in between.

(2021 comment - I’m going to be really honest here - I think both DeeAnn getting married, and Bryant getting divorced was doing flip flops with my emotions - I didn’t write about the divorce much, so as to be loyal to my brother… it was really very hard on me.)

I’m glad Scott (Brian’s friend) doesn’t live in Dallas, he lives in Oklahoma. That would make things even more complicated. Then at times I wish he did live in Dallas. He’s the only other guy I’ve met in ages that I would go out with.

I find myself thinking about old boyfriends lately now that Barry and I are having a little trouble. Especially Russell and Carl. What if Russell got a divorce? Would I dump Barry right away and marry Russell? The thought is possible. I know that sounds crazy, but Russell and Barry are a lot the same except Russell is interested in a little more things that I’m interested in than Barry.

OH GOD! I don’t know what’s going on in my head! I guess I ought to talk to Barry about some of these things. He has a right to know how I’m feeling. And I’m feeling terrible.

JUNE 20, 1984

Wednesday

Last night, Barry and I had a good talk. I felt very loving towards him, but it was almost more of a friendship. I wanted to hold him, but not really passionately kiss him or anything. I wonder what all this means? He’s sounding better now that we talked, and we are definitely going to do more things on our own. That’ll be good for both of us. He’s very seriously thinking about the Air Force (or something similar.) He needs to feel good about himself before he can about me. He told Mr. Lloyd today that he’s not going to buy the store. Barry said he really felt relieved in telling his boss that. He knows he’s not ready for his own store and thinking about it has made him feel worse than better. I hope he finds what he wants. He may look a long time and then he might find something perfect for him right away.

JUNE 22, 1984

Friday

Last night Pat Hogan called and wants to go see a movie Saturday night. I’m all confused about it because of Barry. I already told Pat I would go out, and then I told Barry that he could also go if he wanted to. Now, I’m thinking that I want to go with Pat by myself we’ll be talking about high school and stuff that will bore Barry. Besides, I feel Barry will not be very comfortable; it will probably be Barry on one side and Pat on the other. That would be a little strange. Oh I don’t know! I’m just going to go on and see Pat and tell Barry it’s silly for him to worry because Pat’s just a friend and he’s going to have to trust me. I hope this doesn’t put a strain on our weekend.

(2021 comment - Of course, as many others, I found out later that Pat was gay - but I think he was confused for many years - just loved him!)

Tonight Margaret (the new five year old) is going to spend the night with me for her birthday celebration. Barry and I are taking her to McDonalds tonight and miniature golfing. We’ll come back, she’ll spend the night and after a good breakfast, the two of us are going shopping for her birthday gift. Whatever she wants. That’ll be fun.

Sunday, Barry and I are invited over to John and Mary’s for hamburgers at 4:00 p.m. Then later, they’re going to their last birth class and Barry and I are babysitting Holly. That’ll also be fun.

Therefore, I don’t want the episodes of Saturday night to interfere with the fun of my two oldest nieces. I think I’ll almost be mad if that happens.

JUNE 25, 1984

Monday

Well, everything turned out perfectly in the end. Barry and I are back to normal, Pat disappeared completely from the picture and I feel much, much better! (So does Barry.) here goes the explanation of everything.

FRIDAY - Well, as you know, I went and picked Margaret up for her five year old birthday celebration. I picked her up at 6:00 p.m. and we went back to my apartment where Barry was waiting. Then Sherri met us at McDonald’s for dinner. (I had chicken McNuggets and Margaret had a fish fillet sandwich.) From there, we went to play miniature golf wherein Margaret seemed to show us all up. She came in second place. She made two hole in ones! Sherri made one, and Barry and I didn’t do it at all. But we had a great time. Barry was so patient and good to Margaret and showed her exactly how to play. Just watching him teach and help her, I realized that I didn’t want to let go of him at all. He’s very precious. Well, after golfing, we came back over to my apartment where Kathleen was and Shane came over shortly. We all had a good time. We had root beer floats (Margaret had Sprite.) She went to bed about 10:15 or so. That’s when Barry and I began our discussion. I told him that I know he’s having some serious decisions what to do with his life (as far as career goes), and I realize that’s why he suggested to cool things down. Just in case, he goes off to school or something he felt it might be easier if we weren’t as serious. Anyway, I told him I understand what he was driving at, but, I prefer to cross that bridge when we get there. We are both miserable when we are not normal (stuck on each other) and it’s silly to slow things down a lot, when we’re happier the other way. After spilling my guts and leaving myself open to rejection, Barry let our a big sigh and confessed he felt 200% better. That ended that day with a bang!!!

SATURDAY - Margaret and I woke up, and went to RSQ Mall shopping for her birthday present. I bought her a “Loving You” Barbie doll and a Care Bears book. With her own money, she bought a Barbie coloring book and some candy for her brother and sister. (2021 comment - how sweet is that? - just looked it up and these Barbies are worth $150-$250))

https://youtu.be/zoTLArRvsdE