GLORY for THE FLAG and GLORY OF LOVE - JULY 1986 PT. 1 (Edited)

JULY 1, 1986

Tuesday

I had a really good time last night with John. We went and ordered glasses (plastic.) While I was getting my eyes checked, he watched a fat lady in Target. Nothing else to do, I guess. Then we went and saw Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. It was cute, but not as good as everyone made it out to be. (2021 - weird I watch it all the time now and don’t remember seeing it with John - ha)

But this morning, I’m a little thoughtful because I read the PEOPLE magazine article about Rock Hudson. He was a bit SAD. It sort of made me ill. He could have gone straight and chose not too; and he really liked women. That’s just too weird. And the way he died…

(2021 don’t judge readers… this doesn’t sound like me, really. And it kind of upsets me reading this. Wonder what angle they/People played back then?.. What I truly remember is feeling sad and not understanding AIDS and the world around it. - in my own little corner, so to speak. Just shows what education and growing up does.)

Keith (Rice) is 10x more sensitive than Robert about it. I guess because Robert has accepted it since Junior High. I probably should have never mentioned names when talking about people I knew that were gay. Oh, I wish no one had to be gay. They (government) just passed a law that allows the state to have a law against sodomy if they want. (2021 - wow just wow… I have grown)

JULY 3, 1986

Thursday

I just mailed a letter to Gerri Sallemi (the girl I met in New York, Johnny “San Antonio”s fiancee’) I hope she’s a good corresponder. I love to write letters.

Tonight John told his parents he’s going to our lake house/cabin and I told my parents we’re spending time with his parents so he can spend the night with me tonight. We’re going to get up early in the morning and go to the lake for three days. We just really want some loving, hugging time. He bought Cold Duck and Champagne last night. It’ll be fun. God how I love him!

I honestly could be married to him right now. I realistically and honestly would like to be engaged by December of January and married next Summer or early Autumn. I really want to be married in 1987. Oh, how I love that guy!

JULY 7, 1986

Monday

Earlier I got a call from Kay Eubanks suggesting a job interview for me. I hadn’t really thought about a job since the cruise, but this sounds really good. The problem is they want me today and I’m wearing pants. I would never wear anything less than a suit for a job interview. I’ll just have to explain that we dress casually here and how if I had known earlier, I would have dressed properly. I’ll just laugh about it to them and blame it all on Kay and they’ll see my sense of humor. I have confidence in myself. This is a true challenge to try to get a job in green casual pants and a Hawaiian shirt. I just have to remember to smile a lot, and show my spirit and sense of humor. The five years (almost) of working with a Xerox 850 speaks for itself. They want someone who works on one with a good personality and loves to work with people. Sounds like me, huh? I find myself getting calmer and calmer. It’s only an interview and I’m good. Oh well, I’m about to go.

LOOOOVED this move, About Last Night

JULY 8, 1986

Tuesday

Forget the job. The interview didn’t go really well (I felt bad because I was in pants.) Besides, I had decided a while ago that I wanted to stay with A&A (with about three weeks of vacation.) I wish I didn’t have to work at all. Dream, Dream, Dream, Dream, Dream, Dream...

July 11 - Went went to see Stevie Wonder in Concert. He kept singing and singing! Over 4 Hours! We joked that he couldn't see the clock to know when to stop!

This picture is John playing my piano (used to belong to Mom and Dad - and MaMaw before them) shortly after I moved into a bigger apartment. There was now room for a piano and it had a fireplace.

July 12, 1986

We went to Six Flags with Kevin and his girlfriend. - SO much fun! WEird I remember what I wore - ha

July 13, 1986

We went to Mom and Dad's for Caroline's 2nd birthday. We had fun!

JULY 16, 1986

Wednesday

It’s 3:45 p.m. and I miss John. He left 3:00 a.m. for New York with his mom. I have felt rather hollow all day long.

Last night, on his final night, we went over to Bryant and Barb’s to visit. This is the first time Bryant and John have REALLY been able to visit. We had a really good time. Bryant and John told a lot of jokes and John got to tell some of his adventures while traveling.

Barb just called and asked how I was doing. She figured I’d be upset since he was gone now. She said at one time she was involved in a long-distance romance and it broke her up all the time. That was sweet of her to call. She also said that both she and Bryant think John is great. Everyone seems to think so. They said he was different than anyone they’d ever met. This just reaffirms my love for him. She also asked me about marriage. I told her that we will definitely get married at one point or another. I’m not sure but I think I want to get married sooner than he does. That scares me at times. I’m afraid I love him more than he loves me though the other day, he told me that I could break up with him (we were disagreeing about something, who knows??) but I’d never again find someone that would love me as much as he does. That blew me away. I think he’s really special and I guess everyone thinks so too.

(2021 comment - I think this shows the difference between 25 -me, and 21-John.. I was SO ready for marriage at this time in my life. He still had a lot of school, merchant marine duties, etc.

____________________________

LETTER TO JOHN

July 16, 1986

Dear Buddy Pal: (As we established before you left, Buddy of everything)

I LOVE AND MISS YOU! Already. It is 8:10 a.m. on Wednesday morning and I feel hollow. I really feel I could cry at the drop of a hat. (On top of it all, my stomach still aches a lot, cramps and just indigestion, I guess.)

As soon as you find out about your schedule for Labor Day, let me know, go ahead and get hotel reservations and I’ll make plane reservations. If I have to I’ll charge on Mom’s card and pay her back. I’ve just got to go that weekend. If there is any way to get tickets for a show, I’d love that, as you well know. The Mystery of Edwin Drood received the Tony for Best Broadway musical this year. That would be good. So would the revised edition of Sweet Charity and many others. If Big River (music by Roger Miller) is still showing (which received the Tony last year) that would be good also. Just see what’s available. If there is some way to get tickets for CATS even in the distant future, try to get them and then I won’t go to the production here in Dallas; I much rather go with you.

You know, even though you didn’t have to, it meant a lot to me that you apologized and said “Even though I say stupid things sometimes, I want you to know I love you more than anything.” Like I said, you didn’t have to say that because for the most part I knew you were kidding, but the fact you were worried a bit, meant you really love me. You were just concerned that I might have taken it the wrong way. The age part (that night anyway) was funny to me because I was in a good mood. But, I was a little hurt that you wanted me to grow out my hair. I felt you didn’t like my new, short style and mixed with the age comment it came out to me as if you thought it made me look too old. (Everyone tells me it DOES make me look older.) But all that’s silly when you really think about it. As long as you know when it hurts my feelings and I can admit that I definitely tend to be too sensitive sometimes. God! I love you!

You know, I’ve been thinking a bit about what Bryant said regarding my job. IT’s true, I have been here nearly five years, about to get three weeks of vacation and 15 sick days. (Do you realize that means that much more time with you?) You know me, my private time means as much or more to me than money. That’s why I’m always broke. I like to have a good time. And whether you want me saying this or not, three weeks will come in handy whenever we get married (whenever that will be) so when we get back from our honeymoon (this seems weird to talk about) I could even if I wanted to, take another week off to fix up our place or whatever.

Well, it’s 8:30, I’m going to start work. I’ll be back later! I LOVE YOU!

I just talked to Diana on the phone. Betty can’t come tonight, but Melinda, Bea and herself are coming. Really, the less the better since it’s at my apartment. I’m really looking forward to that. I’ll get to talk about you the whole time. I seem to capture their attention.

I want to talk to you about something that happened at work yesterday. I would have told you yesterday in person, but I didn’t want to be negative at all on your last day here. I love you too much for that.

Okay… Monday June’s little boy was sick so she missed work. No problem. Tuesday (yesterday) she was back. At one point in late morning (before my lunch) I heard Vicki telling June (along with Karen and Jane) about this girl who used to work here named Kim and some of the crazy stuff she used to do. Well, Kim was a good friend of mine; we used to lunch sometimes. I liked her a lot. So I walked over and listened to Vicki and asked her what made her bring Kim up. (I thought maybe she heard something about or from her.) June turned around to me and said “She was talking to me.” and walked off. That really po'ed me but I ignored it because of the others. Come to find out, Kim is expecting in September (her first) and there was a reason that they were talking about her. I was glad I walked over there or I might not have ever found out. I couldn’t really figure out what June’s problem was. (2021 comment - I remember Kim Thigpen.. Not sure if that’s who they were talking about)

When I came back from lunch, there was a note on my desk from June that said “I want to discuss something with you later this afternoon.” I thought to myself MY God! Now what? I hadn’t done a thing to her. I mean, really John, sometimes these people really urk me. So I dropped it until break (2:30) and told LouAnn. She said that maybe June just wanted to apologize for snapping at me. So I thought that was reasonable. Then LouAnn proceeded to tell me what June had told Karen, Vicki and her while I was on vacation. June told them that she always carried a gun with her in the car (she calls it Charlie) and when the Credit Bureau was after her she told Karen that she was going after that woman who was mean to her with Charlie. Karen then asked “Well, where’s Susie?” and June said that Susie is always in her purse. LouAnn said that she assumed “Susie” was a blade. Now what kind of person is that? Someone I don't want to tangle with. When it came to the afternoon and we were alone, she was being pretty nice to me. Finally, I brought it up. I said “Oh June, is there something you wanted to tell me?” And she said no. Then she said “It’s not that I have anything against you… I talked it over with Vicki… Oh Janie, let’s just forget it. And I said “Sure.” Of course, I haven’t forgotten it.

John, I have gone out of my way to be nice and even helpful to June. She has nothing to resent or dislike me for. I let her use my bus pass while I was on vacation. I took things to her apartment when she left them behind, and of course, I was going to help her get an apartment at my complex. (I’m glad that didn’t work.) Oh, I’m getting myself worked up over nothing, I’m sure. She’s been pleasant today. I decided I’ll just treat her like I do Shirley and Elvira. When she’s nice to me, , I’ll be nice to her, but I won’t go out of my way. You know I really don’t like that kind of game, but some people have to be treated that way. Enough on that.

I just heard Glory of Love on the radio. Oh how I miss you already! Last night was special to me. Not meaning just our good visit with Bryant and Barb, but when we got back. I like it when there’s obvious love behind everything we do. Things were slow and meaningful last night. I really like that. Sometimes it’s fun to be just wild and frenzied, but it’s treasured when slow and loving. I like to look in your eyes as much as possible. Oh I love you and will have to come up Labor Day weekend.

I need to say goodbye, do some more work and go to lunch in 30 minutes. I’m going to lunch with Terry. I need it. I could use some laughter and fun. Work is getting me down. But forget that! I love YOU!

Please write soon and tell me your Labor Day plans. I hope you and your mother had some good talks on the way up there. I hope she approves of us and especially me. I just love to be loved. As you well know.

I love you with all my heart and am so glad we had our month together. It was the best full month of my life. But then, these past four months have been outstanding!

Take care and tell anyone I may know “Hello!”

I’ll be glad when all my music classes start up again. Something to do.

Yours for 95 years and forever!

Janie

P.S. Write soon and think of me, will you?

https://youtu.be/yQHhqDRn4_c

Glory of Love