GLORY OF LOVE - JULY 1986 PT. 2
- Oct 7, 2021
- 10 min read
JULY 17, 1986
Thursday
Last weekend with John for Summer
at Mom and Dad's
I had a great evening with the girls last night. Bea, Melinda and Diana came over so it was a good group. We got on the subject of gay people for a while. Well, it kept coming up throughout the evening. Bea left about 10:00 or so, and Melinda, Diana and I went to my living room to converge (cough, cough). We got a lot more personal then. We all talked about relationships and stuff. Diana was a lot like me in her views. She was a virgin when she got married. But the difference was, the guys she went out with in high school were a lot older and her parents didn’t always approve, but they were good and didn’t forbid her. I really never went out with anyone that my parents disapproved of. One guy my mom thought was a little beneath me (Kevin in 10th grade; lower class) but she never said anything, which was very smart. (2021 - he was sooo sweet to me - she was wrong about him, she also like Kevin A and we all know how that turned out)
Letter to John
July 18, 1986
(Friday)
Dear Absolutely Wonderful, Perfect (well almost) Adorable, Forever Missed John:
The song Somewhere Out There reminds me of us. We're separated - but the Moon is ours - wait that sounds like a movie!
How about that for a beginning? Do you know how much I miss you already? Emphatically. Riding home on the bus yesterday afternoon, I had to push back the tears. I WILL come up Labor Day weekend. Unless you’re out of town, I’ll be there. I can’t wait any longer than that. I hope you miss me as much as I miss you. Also, I can’t wait any longer than that. I hope you miss me as much as I miss you. Also, it’s a drag right now because I have nothing planned to do. I was going over to Mary’s (Mom and Dad are going to the cabin with just B.C. and Barbara) but she even turned me down. BOO HOO! She says she’s just exhausted. Maybe I can get with Sherri this weekend. Oh how bored I am, all because you’re not here. I LOVE YOU ANYWAY THOUGH!
I had a nice lunch today. This morning I saw Arnold (I refer to him as “The Democrat”) on the elevator and he said we ought to have lunch and catch up on each other’s lives. I said sure. (He already knows about you.) Anyway, we went to a nice cajun restaurant and it was good. It Turns out HE has been dating this woman steadily for 6 weeks or so. After he told me that, Ifelt ten times more comfortable. I was honestly happy for him. He seemed to glow when talking about her. He told me I was the only American-born girl he ever dated. All others have been Chinese, Mexican and this one was born in Peru. I asked him if she was a Democrat. He said he’s liberal, not Democrat. He voted for Ford in 1976, Anderson in 80 and Mondale in 84. I told him that you were as right-winged as they come. He made a funny face that I thought was amusing. I LOVE YOU! And I’m glad you’re who you are. Her name is Philbia. She is four years older than him. It must be going around. He’s 30 and she’s 34, nearly 35, actually.
I’ll go back to that… maybe. June was just nasty to me again. Yesterday she was nice. I’m about to jump down her throat. The deal is… there are a half dozen roses on her desk and I saw them and went over there and said “Oh, how pretty!... who gave you the roses? She said “They aren’t mine.” I looked on the card (not inside) and saw Judy Lawrence’s name on it. And I said “Oh, they’re for Judy.” and June said “Boy, people around here are nosey.” I said “No I’m not” and she said “Most people don’t read the card.” and I said I only read the outside. Then Karen and Garla went over and looked at the roses and June said pretty much the same to them and I told Garla “Tell her you really don’t care whose they are.” I said that twice and then June said “Say what?” and I said it again and laughed. So she’ll have to take it as a joke. Oh Jane just did the same thing and June told her right off that they’re Judy’s and explained about her anniversary. Oh who cares, right?
Kay Eubanks (from the Employment Agency) just called and has a job interview set up for me next week. I wasn’t going to do it, but it’s between $17,-1,800 mo. It’s in their word processing department. I’ll just go and check it out. I hate giving up three weeks of vacation, but for a nearly $500 a month raise, it may be worth it. It can’t hurt to check it out. At this point (I’m so depressed today) anything sounds good. She just called again. The appointment is at 11:00 a.m. Wednesday. Why not? It’s funny just at lunch, I told Arnold that my free time and vacation is more important than the bucks. That’s still true. But as long as I’m not happy. And I’m not when you’re away.
_________________________________________________
(Letter to John)
Monday
JULY 21, 1986
It’s 8:10 a.m. I love you! Well, I know I told you some of this on the phone conversation yesterday, but I’m still sending it. I’m like you. I wish I was rich. But I’m not. We’re just going to have to accept it. I, anyway, certainly never will be. Not on my own. Oh How I love you!
Well… I made my plane reservations. The catch is, being People’s Airlines, it only flies to Newark, New Jersey. I hope you realized that. Leaving at 7:40 p.m., my plane comes in Friday, August 8 at 11:55 p.m. (for cheapest rate - $89) Flight #909. It departs 9:05 p.m. from North Terminal, Flight # 317 from Newark arriving in Dallas at 11:35 p.m. I made reservations at that time because the latest one before that is only at 1:00 or so. I couldn’t believe there wasn’t a 3 or 5 or 7:00 flight. (This is also a $89 flight. I figured I’d pay on the way down there and you could pay on the way back.) Mary offered to take me to the airport this time, but I hated to mention the late flight coming home. I may have to change it to the 1:00 one. Isn’t that horrible? Oh why did we have to fall in love? Don’t kill me, but that’s how I feel right now. I love you so much, but nothing seems to work out. Is it all worth it? This last month certainly was. God, I can’t tell you how much I love you over and over. It almost scares me. Maybe you could come up here on Labor Day? Maybe you could mention it to your parents? They might like to have you up here. Otherwise, you could save up (it’s so much cheaper for you to come here) and come and stay with me. I’d hide you out and it would be three days of sheer love. We’ll see what we can do. I hope this weekend (Aug 8) will be worth our expenses. But I swear, no one, not even Gerri (whom I am crazy about) will twist your ring, and wish you luck and love but me. That’s my privilege. I’m going to talk to my parents about this probably tomorrow night. I can’t tonight because I have a musical review meeting at Susan McNabb’s with Judy tonight - voice. But tomorrow night, after voice, I’ll see Mom and Dad. I haven’t really seen or talked to them since you have. I’m fighting back the tears right now.
I feel I need some solid advice right now. I have always had everything work for me in the end, and I’m sure it will this time also, but right now I feel so depressed. There’s nothing that’s going absolutely great right now. Nothing. Not even our relationship, which is great, but long-distance, which makes it unbearable. My stomach hurts. I don’t really feel like eating.
JULY 23, 1986
Wednesday
Prince Andrew married Sarah Ferguson this morning. He is now a Duke and she is a Duchess. I saw an interview with them on 20/20 the other night, and they’re very fun, candid sort of people. I like that. They’re not stuffy in any way.
I have a job interview this morning at 11:00 a.m. It’s the same type of job I have now, but just about $5,000 more a year. Not bad.
_________________________________________________________
Letter to John
JULY 24, 1986
Thursday
Dear Sweet Sugars (SS):
Hi Precious! I apologize big-time for my letters (especially the last one) and their state of depression. Life is good. I know that! And I’ve never been so glad of anything as I am that I met you. I was just missing you so terribly! My weekend didn’t go very well, because everyone (all my friends) happened to be out of town, which I told you on the phone Sunday. But I’ve recovered.
Monday night we had our first meeting about our Musical Review Class and we put it all together. I came home singing and feeling great. I’m just the kind of person that needs to be busy. I like a couple of nights a week alone (one night strictly alone) but that’s enough. I’m a do-er.
Tuesday I had a voice lesson, then went to Mom and Dad’s. Boy, they really missed me. Especially my daddy. He waited on me hand and foot. We all watched Back to the Future. I thoroughly enjoyed it for the third time. Sometimes I think that was my favorite movie last year. It’s the type one can watch over and over. Mom, Dad nor Mary had seen it before. They all really liked it also.
Power of Love video
Yesterday I had a job interview with Akin Gump. I took a grammar and spelling test. This time I looked like a knock-out. I know I missed seven of the grammar part (it was a full, typed page and every other time or more was wrong.) So I didn’t feel that was so bad. I didn’t see my score on spelling. I know for sure I missed about three. There was a full page of words also. That’s really not so bad, but all someone had to do was miss one less than me and they’d get the job. But one thing I learned from this interview is I’m going to keep looking until I find something no less than $18,500 a year. The lady from Personnel at the firm said there was no problem asking for $1,700-$1,800 a month for 4.5 years experience. What does that tell you? I’m poorly underpaid. One thing I was unsure about the job is the hours. 7:00 a.m.-3:30 p.m. There’s good points and bad. I’d love to get off at 3:30, but am I functioning at 7:00 a.m.? That’s highly unlikely. I have trouble at 8:30.
I LOVE YOU! Life is good. It truly is! Do you think Kevin would come and get me at 11:35 p.m. on a Sunday night after New York? I’m half scared to ask anyone to come and get me because of the hour. I know good and well my parents will throw a hissy that I made reservations that late. But I don’t want to leave you at 1:00 p.m. Sunday. Call or write soon! You probably will before you get this letter, if so, kindly disregard this letter. TEE HEE!
I was cast in the musical review doing I Enjoy Being a Girl as a solo and Hey Big Spender in a group. Sounds like me, huh? I get to sing “I don’t pop my cork for any man I see.” I wish you could be there. It’ll be later in the year. November or December, I believe. Maybe we’ll luck out and it’ll be when you’re here. I LOVE YOU! If not, maybe I can get it videotaped (a copy of it.) It’s important for you to see me. And I Enjoy Being a Girl is a great number for me. This will be with choreography also.
I haven’t gotten any mail in a while. I’m worrying that the post office can’t find me. I sent them a change of address form, but sometimes if a lot of mail comes in, they just disregard it. That’s what Kathleen said. I never got a shower invitation for Kathleen’s bridal shower. I feel awful. It turned out to be the day we went to Six Flags, but I didn’t RSVP because I didn't have an invitation. She said I should also already have the invitation (wedding), which I never received either. I also feel I should have my Visa bill by now, but don’t. But that doesn’t mean you can’t write to me!
I went back to church choir last night. I really had fun and realized how much I missed it. We started interviewing new directors. We had two guys. The first one I really liked, the second one I really didn’t. For all practical purposes, the second one is probably more qualified musically (or he just bragged more.) He’s an Assistant Director at SMU. But John, I just had a weird feeling about him. I didn’t like his smile. It was fake. I get gut feelings and they’re usually right. I felt he was a bit condescending; and if he is NOW, what happens when he gets to know us really well and feels like he can say anything. He’s the perfectionist type and we don’t need that again. Jim Henderson was director before (he’s the director at Richland) and he was that type. Everyone, practically, got tired of him. The first guy just seemed the type who would be involved in the church and not just how well he sounded by the choir. This guy seemed very self-involved (2nd one.) I do not want that for our church. The first guy was kind. The problem is they were incredibly opposite. The second one had the most outgoing personality by far, and people see that before they look beneath and see more. I’m one who looks beneath the act and the second guy (Norm) puts on an act. Rather insecure type. Oh well, we have more applicants next week.
So Far Away is playing now. How apropos.
I’m letting you go now. Only figuratively speaking, of course. TEE HEE!
I LOVE YOU!
Janie
P.S. Write me soon! It makes my days!
Who’s going to be at the dance (or whatever) that will remember me from last time? This may determine whether I wear the same dress or not. I haven’t another one. And of course, no money. Tell me soon.
I LOVE YOU!
(somewehre out there video)
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