JUNE & JULY 1981 Memories

JUNE 1981 MEMORIES

June 2, 1981 Tuesday

Yesterday & today have been interesting. Especially yesterday. Cam & I went shopping. I bought a purse, bathing suit, Koala bear mirror, Ziggy underwear, 2 song books & for Margaret’s b.d. (June 16th) I got her a broom, vacuum cleaner set & an ironing board and iron. She’ll love it (I hope).

Afterwards, we saw Sherri & all went to El Chico’s & then to Northpark. (I wished kinda, that Sherri didn’t go). Cam looked real nice that day.

That nite (after Sherri went home) I went to Cam’s & actually read him my journal up to this far. He begged & pleaded, & I didn’t have anything to hide. So I did. He understands how I feel a little more. About other people, things & him. I’m finding myself more interested in him all the time. Something really doesn’t want me to though. I wish I knew what or why I can’t accept that I’m rather attracted towards him. Oh well!! (2021 - wasn’t I supposed to go to Denny’s swimming?)

He left me last nite with a sweet kiss & an assurance of his call today. I was happy.

https://dai.ly/x5jduiu

Today (actually) I finished orientation at Ft. Worth. It was easier than I thought. Tonite I went to Dee Ann’s and Cam came too. We sang, watched Barbara Walters interview Katharine Hepburn, Lauren Bacall & Nancy Reagan, & told jokes. Craig, Kae’s boyfriend, & Kae’s friend Susan were there. We had a pretty good time.

Dee Ann, Mark, Cam & I are thinking about going to Six Flags this Saturday. I hope we get to.

Gotta go!!

1) Carl

2) Cam (whether I want to admit it or not)

No one else really.

June 4, 1981 Thursday

Today I spent from 10:00 a.m. to 7 p.m. babysitting Margaret & Bryant III. Boy, I know now what it’s like to be a mother. I’m not ready to be married, I know for sure. That’s a lot of responsibility.

I’m very down right now. I’ve been that way for about a week (or more). I’m finding it hard to decide what I want to do for sure. (I’d like to meet someone totally new & interesting). Put a little spice in my life. I have got to stay away from Cam some. I find myself slightly attracted to him, & I don’t want to. I want someone more mature & more affectionate. Not that Cam’s not loving, he definitely is, he just doesn’t show much physical love, & I need that. Not as much as Carl wanted, but a fair medium.

Gotta go!!

I feel like I don’t have anyone to talk to. Dee Ann’s become buddy-buddy with Cam (as well as Mark), so I can’t tell her a lot of things.

June 11, 1981 Thursday

Sorry I haven’t written, but I’ve been so busy working this week.

After Cam’s & my fight at Six Flags, I’ve been avoiding him until tonite. I Don't know ifI’ll ever be able to completely forgive him. Sure, I can see him & even go places with him, but on the inside I hurt tremendously. I don’t know if I’ll ever get over that.

Tomorrow Dee Ann starts at G.A.R.C. with me. It’ll be fun.

Gotta go to sleep!

Work is so tiring!!

I want to see Carl!!

June 16, 1981 Tuesday

Today was Margaret’s second birthday. She & everyone else had a blast. I got her a broom & cleaner, an ironing board & iron.

I love her SOO much! She’s a doll!

I’m so Sleepy!

At work, we took the kids to the zoo.

POOPED!

June 20, 1981 Saturday

I just spent a fantabulous nite with Sherri, Karen Suits, Johnnie & Thomas Seay. We sang at a wedding (Got paid). Had a blast. I was hardly nervous at all.

Right now I’m still quite typsy, from the rose’ we ordered at Caruso’s. It was good. (Of course coz I had too much). Thomas is such a riot & so talented. Cute too. In a little boy way. He followed me home & I gave him my number. I hope he calls. I haven’t had a regular date in ages. A lot of guys pay my way into places, but not a real date.

I just listened to You’ve Got a Friend by James Taylor. It sure brings back a lot of memories. That wonderful day with Mark C & Tracy in Tyler, when I first spotted “my House” with the gingerbread trim.

Gotta go!!

I feel good

June 24, 1981 Wednesday

Last Friday, Greg appointed me Asst. Manager (Director) G.AR.C.

YEA!

A lot has happened since Saturday. First of all, I’ve been looking at cars. Especially Buick Regals. I’ll probably get one in August. I’m so excited about it. Regal is the car I’ve always wanted. Oh Boy!

On the darker side, Mary & Holly are here to stay for a long time. John & Mary had a big argument (problems) & so she’s gonna live here for a while. (Until he calls, or whatever). I don’t know what I want to happen, he really upsets me a lot, yet I would be awful to have a divorce in the family. Oh well!

While Dad, Mary & I were out looking at cars, Thomas came by. I got excited. I would really like to go out with him. Please! I need to go out on a regular girl-boy date. I’m itchy!

I stayed home from work today. I’ve just plain felt bad.

Gotta go!

July 5, 1981 Sunday

I’ve had an interesting weekend. First of all, I didn't go to the cabin for 4th of July. (Just as well, it rained so much).

Now to tell you about July 4th. Strange, but fun. Cam, Mark, Kevin & I went out Saturday nite to pop fireworks. Well, we weren’t there a couple of hours when a cop came by. But, he just pulled in the rest area and left. (A lot of other people were there too). About 10:00, another cop comes through, except this time he takes everybody’s fireworks & some licenses. (He took Cam’s drivers license). Later, he issued tickets to everybody. But somehow Cam got out of the ticket. We haven’t figured that out yet. But we were glad.

Later, we went to Filling Station & all had tune-ups. I got the drunkest. Cam got pretty bad too. After everyone else went home, Cam & I really got together when he took me home.

July 19, 1981 Saturday

It’s actually 2:32 a.m. Monday. I couldn’t sleep at all. I just read this whole journal.

I am so still flipped over Carl it’s unreal. I haven’t seen him since April 10th, when we broke up.

Do I love him?

Oh, I hope not!

Wed, Thomas & I are going to see “Manhattan Transfer.” I can’t wait!!

July 26, 1981

Strange yet fun weekend. (somewhat sad). First of all, Friday nite I got my car. Yes Folks! Janie finally got a brand spankin new Buick Regal 1981. It’s creamy tan with a light beige interior (velour). I absolutely love it too!

(l2021 - ooking for real pics - pretty sure I've always had a 4 door car). My payments were $257.88.. ha - soooo proud of it!

Now for other news. Guess who I saw last nite? Scott Munoz & a bunch of people including Ken Trent (remember, Carl’s cousin?) Boy it sure did hurt to see him. Mainly coz Ken, Tammy, Carl & Iall went out together a lot. What’s more, Dee Ann is crazy about Kenneth. You see, Bradley, Kathleen, Kevin, Sherri, Ken & I went & saw “Clash of the Titans” last nite. Afterwards, we all came to my house. Later, Scott, Tina, Sandra, Brad (Riner), & Dee Ann came. Ken & Dee Ann hit it off great. What hurts is just think if only Carl & I were still dating, we’d all have such a blast. It’s really hurt me thinking about it.

OH Forget Him! Janie!!

Forget You Bud! No Way! (Spendor in the Grass reference? Or just like Hey Bud - lol)

Carl Anthony Scaglione

July 28, 1981 Tuesday

Well, I have a lot to write. Since Saturday nite Dee Ann has seen Kenneth every nite. Sunday, guess of all people came to Ken’s while she was there? You guessed it, Carl. Dee said he was so excited to see her & quickly asked how I was doing. He also told her that he’d like to see me. (Not a date, but just “see” me). Of course, you know me, I got my hopes way up. Dee & I started talking on how fun we 4 would have. Then we thought about inviting Carl & Ken down to the cabin Saturday the 8th (Old Settler’s Reunion). Just for the day, but what fun we’d have. Dee Asked Ken & he’d like to, but he didn’t know about Carl. But I was optimistic.

Dee Ann said he came over again last nite. Just the 3 of them.

So tonite I got brave. Kevin Q. came by with Roger & Bradley to show me Kevin’s new car. So we rode around in his Impala, & then in my Regal. Well, somehow after driving past Ken’s house (Carl’s car was there), I parked around the corner & went to his door (w/Brad, Kevin & Roger). I was so nervous, haven’t seeing Carl since April 10th. I knocked on the door & Kenneth answered. The door opened slowly, so I saw inside only a little at a time. The first thing I said was “PARTY!” & laughed. But as I started to walk in, my spirits had fallen drastically. Right in front of my eyes was Carl with a date! The 4 of them were eating pizza and watching “My Bodyguard” (the ending). I felt sickening silence across the room, & for the sake of me I Can't remember what Carl said. We watched the last 5 minutes of the movie. (I tried to watch it). Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Carl put his arm around the girl. After the movie, I introduced myself, but she talked so softly, I never caught her name. It’s Karen or Kim, something with a K sound.

I told Carl about my new car, & everyone came out to see it. (All this time, Dee Ann hardly said a word, yet we had a conversation going. In looks, I told her how awkward I felt & how I loved him so much. She told me she was sorry I had to see this. (him like this). God, it was a shockeroo! I could really see the sadness & empathy in Dee Ann’s eyes).

Anyway, Carl kind of left the girl way behind when we went and looked at my car. I caught up with him & talked. He told me how he was still working like crazy & his plans for going back to school. He love my car & was very sweet to me. But I was ready to leave. At that point, I wished I hadn’t come at all.

But now, I’m glad I did. It shocked me to see him with another girl, & that’s selfish & narrow of me. It’s good for me to find out that he doesn’t always think of me. Lord knows, I date other people. What kills me worse than anything, is the question “Do I love him?” I mean am I in love with him?? I’m afraid I’m one or the other.

OH I’m sick of writing!

Janie