MAY MEMORIES 1981

MAY 1, 1981 Friday

I’ll start the new month with good news. Work is going smoothly again. Beverly is gone. She quit. Nell & I have reconciled & we’re actually being polite to each other.

Tonite Cam, Sherri, Kevin, Bradley & I went to Filling Station & had a tune-up (is it green or is it blue??) It’s a strong drink that bombed me. I made the big mistake of letting the drunkeness influence me into Cam’s arms. It’s not fair to treat him that way. Especially after what he told me the other nite. Yet, I do find myself attracted to him sometimes. Oh, I don’t know. We never really kissed passionately & I walked on in & didn’t kiss him good nite.

Tomorrow nite he’s having a party. I’ll have to be careful (first of all, Mark’s gonna be there).

May 1, 1981 Friday

CAMERON

I know he’s in love with me.

I try to stay away, but I can’t

Too good of a friend.

I can’t even admit

That I wish we were

Just friends.

I enjoy the love and attention

He offers me.

I know I use him.

But what do I do?

Totally drop him?

NO!

He’s exactly the way

I want a guy to treat me

Gentle

Sweet

Generous

Sincere

Trustworthy

Loyal, etc.

Yet not for me.

I really don’t know why.

I love him dearly.

But I’m not

“In love” with him.

May 2, 1981 Saturday

Tonite Cam had some friends over.

1. Me 2) Mark 3)Sherri 4)Vera 5)Kathleen 6)Mike 7)Rex 8)Scott M and 9) Tina (Scott’s date)

The nite was a lot of fun, yet I felt awkward. Do you realize except for Rex, I have dated everyone of these guys? And not just simple dates. That can put pressure on me. Although they’re all just good friends now. (I found myself attracted to each one at certain times tonite). Really, except for Mike. Even Rex a little. Am I totally boy crazy? I guess I am. Yet, I find myself in the long run very picky. I’m really most attracted to Scott. He still drives me a little crazy. He just has a sexy way about him. Even with his short, shaved head (Air Force).

Gotta go!

May 4, 1981 Monday

Today was a strange day. I was with Cam all day. I’m finding myself quite attracted to him since Friday nite. We’ve been together every nite since then.

Tonite I ate supper over there & watched “When a Stranger Calls.” It was really good. A lot better than I thought.

Gotta go!

EEEEEEK! I still think a lot about Carl….

May 7, 1981 Thursday

Tonite Cam, Mark & I saw Dr. Strangelove at the Granada. It was good. Mark & I ended up together again, but he just plain doesn’t kiss too good. He’s a little better than on the cruise, but not much.

Tomorrow I’m going to look at apartments.

Gotta go!

Dee Ann called long distance. She asked about Carl. I haven’t heard or seen him since we called it off.

I’m Tired!!!

May 9, 1981 Saturday

Tonite Mark, Cam & I went & saw Gone with the Wind. That’s probably just about the best movie ever made.

It’s funny, Thurs. Nite I felt more romantic towards Mark and tonite I felt very close to Cam. In fact, I nearly ignored Mark. Cam ended up kissing me goodnite. (He kisses so much better than Mark). Cam is so dear to me. I love him so. Times like tonite I feel we could be married. But I know he just got to me this one nite. He told me that I’m a lot like Scarlett. I like that. He idolizes her. Mark doesn’t like her. (That perturbed me).

Gotta go!!

I’m sleepy!!

May 12, 1981 Tuesday

Well, school’s almost out. YIPEE! I’d kind of like to keep having Choir, but that’s all. Thursday I have my History final. If I don’t make at least a 70, I’ll fail it. I’ve already been studying.

Yesterday I got a ticket for an expired inspection sticker. That infuriated me. I was on my way to get my car inspected, when the cop pulled me over.

I find myself still a little interested in Cam. I went over there Sunday nite & today. He’s so strange though. Most guys are always making advances toward me as soon as I see them practically, yet Cam 99% of the time waits for me to instigate the moves. (And I don’t always want to).

C’est la Vie!

Gotta go!

I saw Kevin A yesterday.

Russell

Tracy

Carl

Janie

(code for bank card)