SEPTEMBER 1985 PT. 2 (original)

SEPTEMBER 11, 1985

Wednesday

Barry came over last night and we had a nice visit. He came over about 8:30 and he stayed until 11:00. There weren’t any hard feelings or resentment in this conversation like there was even in the last. I was glad of that.

I managed to ask Barry about Randall dating others by asking him what he did last Sunday. The last I mentioned it, I was wanting Randall to know that I’m dating other people and I needed to know if he was. Well, last night I found out. This is how it went:

ME “What did you do last Sunday?”

BARRY “OH, I just studied all day, until about 4:00 when Randall called.”

ME “OH! Randall called?” (He was gonna call me about 1:30 or 2, and I wasn’t there)

BARRY “YEAH, he called and said he was with Mary Beth at his parent’s house and wanted to know if I wanted to do something. So I said Sure.”

ME (A little taken back) “I thought Randall didn’t like Mary Beth?”

BARRY “Well, he can’t stand her every once in a while, but not all the time…I felt a little bit funny because I knew Randall’s parents were out of town and I knew they were having sex.”

ME “Now, Barry, you don’t know that. I’ve been over at Randall’s house while his parents were out of town and he was great. He’s never been disrespectful.”

BARRY “Well, I don’t necessarily mean ..., just things. I really feel Randall’s leading her on. She acts like she’s crazy about him and he doesn’t really care for her.”

The rest of the conversation went somewhat like that. That’s the gist of it. Right at first, I felt a little surprised, but quickly found the whole thing humorous. I told Barry about our “tentative” plans (Randall and me) and that I wasn’t there when Randall called. It makes sense. If he called me about 1:30 or 2:00 and I wasn’t there, he called Mary Beth and got her to run around with him. That really makes me feel pretty good. I’m glad I’ve been dating other people. You know, Randall never surprises me. When it comes down to it, I know what he’s going to do; of course, he knows me also. I’m sure he knows I go out with other people, he’d be stupid not to think so. I don’t think I’m going to call him anymore. Not that I’m backing out, I just think people need to work for me. I’m worth working for.

You know, the more I think about it, the more I feel like calling Carl. I realize he may be engaged, even possibly married. But, it would be nice just to call and find that out. I really like Carl and I always enjoyed his company and I want the best for him. You know, I’ve about decided that friendship is more important to me (at this point in my life) than romance, love, sex (especially sex.) Even as for Arnold and Randall, I enjoy their company really more than their kisses, so why ruin a friendship because we “might” get too heavy in a relationship. That hasn’t happened to me and Arnold yet, but I’m afraid it might. Sometimes I think a guy feels he should kiss a girl goodnight and I don’t necessarily feel that. Sometimes I feel like it and sometimes I don’t. To tell you the truth, I feel like it more in the middle of an evening (spontaneously) than at the end, when it’s too planned. I don’t like that. Just think, if Carl and I hadn’t gotten so heavy so quick, I would still have someone to go see old movies with and talk trivia. (Although this friend of mine, Eric, is really great at movie trivia, etc.) - he went to the fireworks show with us, remember? (2021 comment - Eric/Aggie - we met in Chuck Delafield’s class with Scott & Vera - Richland 1979 - He shows up almost every year to our annual birthday party)

Oh! I better get some work done…

SEPTEMBER 17, 1985

Tuesday

Just a little page to say I have DEFINITELY decided on something. Well, after last night in my Voice Class, I’ve decided on something that I’ve been knocking around for awhile now. That being, I will only see Randall as a friend, Arnold, pretty much too and anyone else who doesn’t share my two main interests. (Arnold at least loves to dance, like I do.) You know, all I want, really and truly from a relationship, is a man who is a true gentleman (respect, doors open for me, possibly flowers, etc.) and a music lover. I don’t think that’s too much to ask. I'll tell you why I’ve decided this…

Last night I had my voice class. Everyone sang their song and then the class (total of 8 people, six girls and two guys, all but three being single) critiqued them and after practice, Judy, my teacher, videotaped the whole thing. Well, everyone did theirs with Linda probably doing the best (except she sang a little flat, and she got SO nervous she was acting crazy to cover it up;) she’s a great girl (about 35) with a natural comical style, but tends to cover up with crazy actions. She has a strong enough voice for Broadway, possibly doing parts like the mother in Gypsy, Annie Oakley and similar powerful parts. Anyway, I was last and had forgotten my music but Judy asked me just to sing through it and we’d critique, etc. next week (one other person, Lucellus, wasn’t there so he had to do it next week as well.) Anyway, I said I’d just sing it acapella for them. I’m here to tell you that I did a pretty good job and everyone cheered when I finished. They hadn’t heard me sing at all. I sang Zing Went the Strings of my Heart. I felt a charge of excitement, energy and pure emotion flowing through me. They couldn’t believe I stayed on key so well doing acapella and were all pleased. Steve, a young lawyer in there, didn’t have much of a compliment for anyone in there except me… He walked me out to my car, afterwards and told me I had a beautiful voice. I told him that my next two songs were going to be an old Jeanette McDonald song Lover, Come Back to Me and Don’t Cry for me Argentina from Evita. He exclaimed “Wow!” You’ll sound great on that. I love that whole musical. I asked him if he’d seen it and he has seen the original Broadway cast with Patti LuPone. Oh, I was impressed! We talked for just a short while and went to our cars. As I jumped in my car with enthusiasm, I vowed to myself that it’s stupid to waste much time with guys who don’t share my common ground interest. The more I think about it, the more I know I’m right. I rather be by myself in life (even though I don’t want to be, and never truly will be) than marry someone who can’t share my love for the arts and NUMBER 1.. MUSICALS. I never have felt as good as when I’m successful at singing. It’s the highest high of all. Even moreso, than sex, even being in love, because it’s for ME! No one can make me happier than me, doing what I want. I’m so excited. Of course, I Haven't done this with accompaniment yet, but that can always work out.

I went into class in a really bad mood, tired, sick feeling, etc. I left exhilarated, feeling hyper, loving life. When something makes you feel that great, you need to continue it. And I will!!

SEPTEMBER 20, 1985

Friday

First thing.... Yesterday, September 20, 1985, a HUGE disastrous earthquake shook Mexico City. As of today at 4:35 p.m., there are still people trapped under crumpled buildings, etc.

SEPTEMBER 23, 1985

Monday

Today would be Alex’s 28th birthday. It’s also John Cody’s birthday and LeeAnn Boren’s. (2021 - and Bill Hollomon’s bday too)

Well, let me tell you about my weekend. WOW! WOW! WOW! Here goes.

FRIDAY - I went to a party at Mary Welborn’s house. She’s a girl I’ve become reacquainted with at church. She also went to Memorial and South Garland with me. The party was fun, but not as much fun as the one a couple of weeks ago at Melinda Propes’ house. I think it’s because this one had a lot more people. There was one conversation that started, where I could have gotten defensive and really become upset, but I chose to drop it. It started when a guy, Steve Knagg, (brother of Richard, Bea’s husband) made a statement that kids grow up just like their parents and, therefore, if the parents are good people and go to church every Sunday, etc. their children will do the same. NOT TRUE! Now, I did tell him that's not necessarily so. And he said his parents did that, and now all three of their boys are sitting in church every Sunday. In my opinion, they’re very lucky. Of course, I was taking this all personally, thinking of my parents and Alex. I could have brought him up and all, but decided to drop it instead. I’m glad I showed some wisdom in not bringing it up. But, Steve is a good guy and it’s hard for some people who have only seen good in their lives to notice problems and tragedy in other lives. But, enough on that.

SATURDAY - At 2:00 p.m, LouAnn and I went to Mary Ann Macias’ wedding. She’s a girl who works at A&A, and she’s cute as a button. She’s about 5 ft. tall. The guy she married, Mike, is about 5 ft. 2. They looked like they could be on top of the cake. The wedding was beautiful. It was a Mexican-Catholic wedding. I really liked it.

That night about 6:45, (after finishing Evidence of Love, the book about the Candace Montgomery murder trial; a true story that happened here in Wylie, Texas) .

Arnold shows up with a corsage of orchids. That was SO thoughtful. He’s really great about that. We then rode (in his convertible Fiat, but the top was up) to Lou Ann’s and rode with her and Art to go to the marriage celebration at The Ramada Inn in Irving. Oh, now that was the best reception I have EVER been to. Arnold and I danced, and danced, and danced. Everyone said we won the Carmen Miranda and John Travolta awards. TEE HEE! I had a blast! We were there from about 8:00 p.m. until 12:30 a.m. The whole time, even while having a blast with Arnold, I still just considered him a good friend…

After doing the swing, samba, mombo, etc., the dance was over and Art, LouAnn, Arnold and I went back to Art and LouAnn’s house where her kids were still up and some of their friends. We stayed there for quite a while laughing the whole time. LouAnn attempted to tell Arnold every dumb thing I have ever done (it really was funny.)

There was one point when I said something (we don’t remember what it was) and it made Arnold put his arm around me and pat my shoulder. I tell you, for the first time, I got an electrical charge. My heels truly clicked. At that point, I patted Arnold on his knee to let him know I acknowledged his love pat. He told me later that he doesn’t remember exactly why he did that, but he remembers being proud of me. He said he was proud to be with me the whole night. That was wonderful to hear.

We left LouAnn’s about 2:30 a.m. and headed for my apartment with the top down on the Fiat. At one point, I had my head back on the cushion and was gazing into the sky. Then, I felt Arnold looking at me slowly, turned my head towards him, and he said “I can tell you’re having a good time.” I nodded my head dreamily, for a lack of the perfect words.

We got back to my apartment and I invited him in, for what I thought would be just a little while. We were sitting on my couch for just a little while and he kissed me. Well, again, my heels clicked big time. I don’t know how we got on the whole conversation, but I know he told me that he was proud to be with me the whole time. I thought that was wonderful. He told me that I was a “Class Act.” He said that everything I love and breathe spells class. Boy, I love to be told that. Two of my favorite compliments are that I look classy and/or sharp. I love both those words. I couldn’t get over it.

One time he kissed me and then jokingly said “What happens if I start liking you?” I thought that was cute. We talked about watching Gandhi on my videotape, and he said we need to do that soon, or we’re not going to be able to sit there on the couch and watch a 3 ½ hour movie for long. He really said a lot of things that night that I loved. He’s really on my good list right now.

But… I’m still leery of getting into a relationship. I still really feel “No rings, no strings.” I also believe that unless I have quite a bit of things in common then forget it. Arnold and I really do have quite a few things in common. Especially dancing. We LOVE it! We’re both very active, party-type people. Our music tastes are somewhat different. One thing, I like most of the music he likes, but he doesn’t like most of the music I like. But… he likes symphonies, jazz and much of the artistic music. Where he goes flat is the musical (pop) type. He has trouble with musicals; but the main thing I ask is if he can hear me sing it. If he only likes certain types when I do it, then I can handle that, but he has to be extremely proud of me. I couldn’t love (or should I say date steadily) someone who wasn’t proud of my talent.

SEPTEMBER 25, 1985

Tuesday

I just had to write and say HOW WONDERFUL LIFE IS! I JUST CAN’T GET OVER HOW GREAT I HAVE felt lately, especially this week. I do believe it’s a direct combination between my success lately in Voice class (my music altogether) and my success with Arnold.

Let me tell you how my voice class went Monday night. Our assignment was to have our songs completed (as if we were doing it onstage) and videotape it. We stand at the front and say our name and what the song is and who wrote it. I stood up there and said “My name is Janie Boren, and I will sing Zing went the Strings of my Heart, words and music by James F. Hanley.” Then, I give my cue to Cynthia (my accompanist) and I begin. I did really pretty good, (I messed up a little on my words, but the important thing is the audience NEVER knew it) and when I was finished, I received tremendous applause with some whistles. One guy, Steve, told me how cute I was.

After everyone was finished, we all decided to redo ours because most felt that they buffed up quite a bit. The way they put it is “Let’s please redo ours, we all are having an off night, well, EXCEPT JANIE!” IN unison. It made me feel great. Then I told them I messed up on my words and they were surprised because they said they couldn’t tell by my face or actions. I learned how to do that from my wonderful mother. Anyway, since I did mess up on my words, and anyone can use more practice, I redid mine. The second time went a lot better. (I messed up on my words in a different place, but my voice sounded better and my actions were cuter.) Steve told me I was a cute flirt. They all asked me what shows I’ve been in onstage and if I had done camera work before. WOW! Those are two of the best compliments I have EVER heard. I left, as always, incredibly elated and full of vim, vigor and vitality.

SEPTEMBER 27, 1985

Friday

12:45 p.m. - Before leaving for lunch, I felt great, happy and secure. Then, by the time lunch came around, I felt physically okay, sad and insecure. I don’t truly know why except I saw Arnold as I was going to the bathroom and Georgia Cantrell (work works by him was walking in front of him.) I said “hello,” really to Arnold, and she said “Hi, how are you?” and I said “fine.” Then he (businesslike as always) said “7:00, okay?” quietly. I louder said “7:00?” and he nodded and I said “fine.” He is SO impersonal at work and I don’t know how to take that. Maybe I have to realize that we both had a little too much to drink the other night and were probably saying things we didn’t mean. But, it left me insecure. Then on top of it all, I went down to meet Terry Randles for lunch at 11:30, waited 15 minutes and she never showed. That teed me off a bit and I went on to cash my check and tried to go to Las Papas, but the line was too long. I went on and came back and just ate yogurt. Somewhere in between the time I waited for Terry and getting back to the break room (Terry came shortly after, she got caught up at work) for lunch, I felt blue and mentioned that I should have planned something fun to do for next Saturday night, October 5, since that is the day Barry and I were supposed to get married. That’s also the day that Bryant and Barbara are getting married, and that really IS worth celebrating. I have something to do with Arnold every weekend through the 25th, but that’s mostly on Friday nights. Oh well!! I need to quit it. I’ve been in a great mood all week, I think when it comes down to it, I’m just afraid that all the great things we said to each other was just alcohol talking, even though, I’d say it should have been out of our blood by that time.

Well, I’m going to get back to work and get my mind off myself. That Greek Festival tonight should be great and we may go see "Plenty" afterwards.