THE MANY LOVES OF JANIE - (or RANDALL Gillis) - AUGUST 1985

AUGUST 14, 1985

Wednesday

https://youtu.be/HaA3YZ6QdJU

Just the Way You Are

It has been a LONG time since I have written or typed. (whatever the case may be.) Well, I’ll briefly tell what’s been happening.

(Randall reminds me of Dobie Gillis - hence the title)

Randall and I are still seeing each other. But I also am seeing other people. I usually see Randall on Thursdays and sometimes on Saturday day. This Saturday night, we’re going to a wedding together. His boss’s daughter is getting married, and Randall wants me to go. That’s always flattering. How do I feel about Randall? Well, it’s hard to say. Sometimes I feel more than other times. I DO know, however, that I don’t want to date JUST him. I don’t want to give up on seeing him either. I really feel it’s more friends than anything else, yet I really enjoy his kisses. It's kind of a funny relationship. It’s not at all like our relationship has been in the past. I am incredibly secure this time and feel very nonchalant (seriously) about the whole thing. Even with me dating other people, we’ve been seeing each other off and on at first, then began to be more on than off since April 13. That is exactly four months. That’s longer than it had ever been before. I think it’s largely because I am not clinging to his every word. I’m just enjoying being single.

(2021 comment - I realized recently that Randall reminds me of Dobie Gillis - remember that show? - all that blonde hair - actual show was called The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis - lol - this picture I'm pretty sure is mid-80's before he bought his own house)

Just the Way You Are

https://youtu.be/HaA3YZ6QdJU

Last night I went and visited with Barry and we had a good talk. He explained more how he felt about being around me and Randall together. I now understand much more. You know, come to think of it, I wouldn’t even put myself in that position, yet for some reason, I wasn’t understanding why Barry wasn’t doing it. I mean, I never went around Carl when he was dating someone else (the only time I did I was humiliated.) The only difference is that Barry’s jealousies or insecurities are keeping Randall and I from seeing each other as much as I’d like. But that’s between me and Randall. I AM seeing him tomorrow night alone and Saturday night at a wedding and dinner. That'll be nice. We may afterwards go out with some of his friends at work. I’m going to talk to Randall a lot tomorrow about Barry et al.

AUGUST 18, 1985

(Sunday - 10:30 p.m.)

Well! I haven’t written (by hand, anyway) in a long time. Today was one of those kind of daydreaming days and I couldn’t keep my mind on anything.

To backtrack a bit… Thursday nite Randall had to cancel our plans because he had to do yard work for his dad. Anyway, I got on the bus wondering what I was going to do and I sat down. Then I heard a voice say “you can sit by me, if you like.” Well, it was Kenneth (Ken.) We had gone out a couple of weeks before. We laughed and talked on the way home. He just sold his house and moved into an apartment. I gave him a ride from the bus stop to his apartment, where he invited me in. Poor guy, has SO many boxes. I stayed there for a couple of hours and helped him out a bit. Then I left. He walked me out to my car and as I began to crawl inside, he said “Hey Tiger!” and pecked me on the lips. He’s a lot of fun but he’s no real heel clicker, if you know what I mean. (2021 comment - I absolutely have NO recollection of Ken/Kenneth on the bus at all - LOL)

Anyway, Friday afternoon, I was typing away at my desk, when I heard a voice behind me say “Janie, would you like to have lunch Monday?” It was Arnold who had take me out the Monday before for lunch. I said “Sure.” He said “Great!” and started to walk off and I yelled “Arnold, have a great weekend!” He smiled and said he would and the same to me. When I turned back around, chills just shot through me. The type of chills I love.

(2021 comment - may have to erase later - I do remember our first? Lunch together and we talked a lot about former relationships and dating casually, etc.-this might have been our 2nd lunch - wait & see!)

All this and knowing I had a big date with Randall on Saturday, I was flipping out. This is the most excitement I’ve had since Barry and I started out. Though our excitement seemed to have ended with my wreck.

O o o… And then Saturday came. WOW! It’s hard to start off. Well, Randall came by about 4:30 p.m. (he wasn’t supposed to be there til 6:00. He said he wanted to go eat first and then we were going to Jim’s (a guy he works with) and Cathy, his girlfriend, and we were all going to the AMFAC hotel for a wedding and reception. It was fun! I really like Jim and Cathy. She’s really down to earth. I kept giggling at the wedding coz Randall kept introducing me as his date. Somehow, with the mood I was in, it struck me as funny; especially when I went down the receiving line. Randall would say “I work with Tom, the bride’s father,” and I began just saying “I’m just the date.” That really cracked me up.

After the reception, the four of us went to Mistral’s which is a very elite, classy dance place in The Anatole Hotel. I think Cathy and I liked it better than Randall and Jim. But, once they had a few under their belt, they really had fun. Randall couldn’t seem to stay away from me. Now one thing, he doesn’t like to dance. There is a big video screen in there and Freeway of Love by Aretha Franklin came on and I nearly died. So, I went out on the floor with Jim and Cathy. We had fun. That’s the thing with Randall. He may do crazy things like taking me to Wendy’s before the wedding. I just laughed, coz that’s Randall. I kept saying “Well, at least it’s not McDonald’s.” Anyway, what’s great is he’s the same with me. It didn’t bother him at all that I danced by myself. (That would have driven Barry up the wall.) He lets me wear, do, say or feel what I want. I like that I need that.

I know it was partly because he had a tequila sunrise, a hurricane and Texas Tea, but he kept whispering to me how much he cared for me and how pretty I was. I loved it and him.

We got back over to Jim’s (Oh, everyone was good and sober before we left Mistral’s, I only had two drinks) they invited us up, but we wanted time to ourselves before Randall had to go back to Rowlett - Lake Ray Hubbard where his parents lived. And we certainly had time to ourselves . . .

AUGUST 20, 1985

Tuesday

Guess whose birthday is today? Russell’s. Only I remember things from way back. Enough on that.

Yesterday I had a nice lunch with Arnold Hoffmann. He took me to “Pearls” seafood restaurant. This was our second lunch date. He asked me some funny questions like “Do you like country and western music?” When I said not really, he was shocked. He thought all people down here loved it. He’s from Chicago. He was also surprised to find out that I’m not a huge Cowboy fan. It’s not that I’m NOT a Cowboy fan, I’m not a football fan. If anyone’s going to win, I prefer the Cowboys; but I really prefer college football - The Texas Longhorns. I think he was pleased that we don’t have to argue over these two things, not argue, but debate. Whatever you call it, I don’t really care.

Anyway, when lunch was over, we walked back to the building and up to the 21st floor where I work. At my door, he said “Well, now that we’ve had two successful lunches, would you like to try for a weekend?” I said “sure,” not thinking that I had tentative plans with Randall for Saturday night. He said “Great,” got my number and address at home and said he’d call later on.

He’s really a neat guy; very tall, brown hair and brown eyes. But he just broke up with an 11 year relationship girl that he almost married. He’s still very stuck on her and he’s very open about it. But, he also knows it’s best that they broke up. (They’ve been apart for about a month and a half now.) Anyway, I think he’s just out to have a good time and get back into life. I feel the same. In fact, I told him on our first lunch date that since Barry and I broke up, I just decided I was going to have a good time and not get serious. Even though Randall and I got pretty serious Saturday night.

I’ve been feeling a little guilty about going out with Arnold since Randall and I have become closer, but he (Randall) has still never muttered a word of commitment, an “I love you” or anything remotely close. So, until he does and I feel comfortable with it, then I’m playing the field. I’m not even sure Randall is what “I” want. I keep imagining what I’d do if he asked me to marry him (in the future,) and I never can come up with an answer. There’s always a hesitation. That means something. I don’t know, a lot has to do with how he’s treated me in the past. Very nonchalant. Also with so many people getting divorces, it makes me think twice. (2021 comment - I may end up saying it in future journals, but I wanted to be WANTED… wooed, cared for -feel wanted.. and that’s what Barry J had done. Otherwise, it was all just fun.)

Speaking of that, Mary called me today and she said John may be leaving her. He said he was picking up his things tomorrow. She doesn’t even know why. She made Arlington Civic Chorus and he blew up about that. Oh, I never understand. I’m so disgusted with divorces. I’ve about decided I will NEVER marry. I mean, why should I? My life is great. I’m active in church, voice lessons, about to take a voice class. I get to run around with whomever I please, and I date whomever I want. Sometimes Randall, sometimes somebody else. I kind of like that. I live by myself and can eat, sleep and watch t.v. when “I” want. Why ruin all this for permanence? My best reasons I can think of for marriage now are:

1) Sex (I am, of course, still a virgin)

A. Not worrying about if you get pregnant

B. No guilt

2) Waking up next to someone every day (that's nice)

I seriously can’t think of any other reason for marrying. Sure, being in love. But when you’re in love you want the top two things. I started to put “Never Being Alone” but that can get tiring. Even sex during marriage for me only means intercourse. Some things you can do without worrying about getting pregnant and still be a virgin… I’ve never mentioned this really before. But I AM 24. (2021 - what about having kids, Janie? - lol)

AUGUST 22, 1985

Thursday

I don’t really have much to type, I just have a lot of time. It’s funny, I feel like I need to write a poem about all I’ve been feeling lately, but nothing seems to come out. Oh well, things like that just seem to surface before you know it.

Randall “IS” coming over tonight. I haven’t seen him since Saturday night.

I need to call Mary. I haven’t talked to her since day before yesterday, and then she said John was leaving her. She wants me to come and spend the night Friday in Arlington so we can talk and I can babysit for her while she goes to orientation for Arlington Civic Chorus on Saturday. She said it will be for six hours; but if it’s any longer, I’m in trouble because I have a date that night and need to get back to Garland at least two hours before Arnold comes to get me.

You know, I was thinking… If I don’t get married, I wonder if and when I’ll have intercourse. I’m used to saing no, to restraining myself from that situation all together, etc. There’s also always the chance of getting pregnant. When one has never been on the pill, or slept around, how does she know how fertile she is? She doesn’t. It’s very scary, and it’s something I’m definitely not ready for now. Oh, I’m probably sounding very irrational with all the talk of never getting married, and there may be a day in my life when I read this and really laugh. But, until I get over this sinking feeling of marriage, it’s out of my plans completely. Oh well!

AUGUST 21, 1985 9:50 P.M.

Wednesday

Well, I didn’t have Choir again tonight. I’m really missing it. I miss Bea also. Since I didn’t go to Church last Sunday, I haven’t seen her in over a week and a half.

Randall’s coming over tomorrow night. It’ll be good to see him. I haven’t seen HIM since Sat. nite; and that was such a GOOD nite.

AUGUST 25, 1985 (1:53 A.M.)

Sunday… early morning

I just came in from a date with Arnold Hoffmann. It was really nice. We’ve had two lunch dates, but this was our first weekend date.

It started with him bringing me flowers; they are daisies and some blue flowers. That was really special.

We went to eat at Caruso’s, (one of my personal favorites) and it was lovely. Then we went to Studebakers and danced. It’s a place that plays oldies but goodies; not much further back than 50’s and not closer in time than 1977-78.

AUGUST 26, 1985

Monday

Today is Bryant’s 31st birthday. You know, I don’t even remember calling him last year on his big 30th birthday. Of course, a lot was going on this time last year. It was shortly after my wreck and he and Therese had just pretty much gotten their divorce finalized (give or take a couple of months.) Anyway, I do believe I forgot his birthday completely. Well, this year I didn’t. I sent him a cute Ziggy card. I hope it gets there by today. I sent it Thursday afternoon. It should be there without fail today. I’ll be mad if it isn’t.

I have to tell you about my good weekend.

FRIDAY - I went to Arlington to spend the night with Mary. We really didn’t have a lot of time to talk because John was there, but after he went to bed, we talked some. She said he is still talking quite fatalistically about the marriage but, it was weird, in front of me he acted fine, but she didn’t. She was real antsy with John, but he seemed normal. If I hadn’t known there was trouble between them, I would have asked Mary what her problem was, after John left the room. Of course, he doesn't know that I know, so I guess he was just covering up. But all in all, Mary and I had a good visit. Holly acted bratty a couple of times, but no big deal.

SATURDAY - I babysat in the morning while Mary went to the Arlington Civic Chorus. She was gone for six hours, so I had plenty of time to visit and play with the kids. It was weird because John was there part of the time. But he went to work for most of the day. You know, I have to admit, that when I’d pick up Caroline (she’s a little over a year old) I really got the maternal extinct. It brought tears to my eyes. I’d love to have a baby just like her. She smiles all the time, only cried one time all day (and that was when Holly shut the door in her face) and is just a delight to be around. She looks a lot like I did when I was a baby. Just precious! TEE HEE!

Well, anyway, I made it back to my apartment about 5:00 p.m. I called Arnold to tell him I made it back and gave him directions to my apartment. He told me he’d pick me up at 7:00.

7:08 p.m. - the door knocked, I opened it to hear Arnold say, “Sorry I’m late.” and he pulled out a bouquet of flowers; daisies, purple flowers, etc. It was wonderful! I know I just went on and on but hey! That’s unusual for today. He told me “What can I say?” I’m a romantic kind of guy. (And through the evening, I knew that his idea of romanticism is similar to mine; just plain old-fashioned romance, not pushiness. I love that.

On the way to the restaurant, he told me that he had really been looking forward to this date. That made me feel really good. Well, we went to eat at one of my personal favorite restaurants, Caruso’s. He was pleased with the food. He’s from Chicago-St. Louis and loves really good Italian food. He rated this one above average. It was so glad. This is the place where they have singing waiters and waitresses. The worst singer just happened to be our waiter; he was a pretty good waiter, though.

During dinner we realized (while having a good time) that we didn't have a whole lot in common. Except we do love to dance, and he knows quite a bit of latin dances. He said he’s a mean Cha Cha dancer. I’d like to try that out. You know, I’m more knowledgable about things like that (dances, music, movies, etc.) than most of my friends, but he seems to know more than me. Of course, he has five years up on me. I like that though. That means he can teach me something, and he’s willing to understand my love for them. He really knows a lot about old songs.

I found out that we vote opposite of each other (since I’ve voted), except if I had voted in the race for Carter vs. Ford, I would have voted for Ford, and he did. Everyone he has voted for lost, and I’ve voted for Reagan twice. He’s apparently not a Reagan fan. But we did a lot of laughing.

After dinner, we went to Studebakers. That’s a dance place where they play old music from the 50’s on to the middle 70’s or so. It was a blast. As I said before, we love to dance. He was wearing a coat and tie and tended to get hotter much quicker than me, so we didn’t do much continuous dancing. (I could have, but I hated to, when he was burning up.) Oh, he told me about three times that night that I was very polite. My mother taught me well. He’s very gentlemanlike, himself.

Oh, it was funny. There were some couples that were standing around the Studebaker by us (there is an actual car in the bar and we stood by that most of the time) and they were crazy… drunk. One guy kept getting on the floor. The girls were incredibly friendly and kept asking us to get in the car with them. (One too many, but fun.) In fact, I do believe we’re in a couple of pictures they took. When they sobered up to get their pictures made, they’re going to wonder who we are. TEE HEE! It was fun!

Arnold could name every song that played (I’m not particularly bad at that) and what year they came out. (Now that’s where I have problems.) I was quite impressed. Oh, the whole evening was fun.

He said a couple of things that baffled me. I was telling him since he lived in Dallas now, all the fun places to go; the Magic Time Machine, Bowley & Wilson’s, etc., and he told me places where he wanted to go. Then he said “We’re going to have to have a long relationship just so we can go to all these places.” I just smiled, not quite knowing what to say.

Only one time he grabbed my hand, when it was really crowded and we needed to get through, so we wouldn’t lose each other. A couple of times as we’d get off the floor, he’d kind of squeeze my waist, but I remained very casual.

Well, really to make a long story short, we left Studebaker’s about 1:00 (I had to go to church the next morning.) On the way home, we rode in his convertible with the top down. He has a Fiat Spider #284 made of a limited 1,000 models. It’s gold metallic and very pretty. It was fun riding with the top down. It was only my third time to EVER ride in a convertible, and the second time hardly counted, because I just ran around in Add’s Spider around the block. The first time was in Cindy Lacey’s old, beat-up car back from the State Fair and it was too cold to ride, but she couldn’t get it to stay up.

Anyway, back at my apartment, he walked me up to the door, and to tell you the truth, he look a little like a lost puppy. I had to tell him that it was really too late to invite him in (besides I NEVER do on the first date, hardly, and church early the next morning) and I was sorry, but I had an excellent time. That's when he looked like a lost puppy. I thought he looked SO cute, so I said “How about a big hug?” That felt so good to me. When we came apart, unexpectedly (seriously) he kissed me. It was really nice. I told him thank you again and he headed for the car as I opened my door.

As I stepped inside, I saw the beautiful spring bouquet and felt exhilarated. I had to run back out and yell “Oh, thank you SO much for the flowers!” He said something and I couldn’t hear him, so I went out to his car, and he said “Janie, it was my pleasure.” I know I was just bubbling over. It was a wonderful date. Right up there with my first date with Barry. Right now it seems a little better, but that’s because Barry and I pretty much just split up.

It meant a lot to me that he had such a good time since this was his first date in 11 years. Hard to believe, isn’t it? (2021 comment - Arnold was definitely, what I thought anyway, my type. Tall, Brown hair, brown eyes… Not sure if it will be in a future entry, but he also took dance lessons from Arthur Murray - and he was VERY masculine - Arnold, where are you now?)

I DID HAVE A WONDERFUL TIME!