THROWING IT ALL AWAY IN NOVEMBER 1986 - PART 2 (Thanksgiving)
- Nov 4, 2021
- 11 min read
NOVEMBER 17, 1986
Monday
Dear Precious:
Well, we finally talked last night. This was the longest time we’ve gone without talking. 10 DAYS! That’s okay. I know how busy you are, and I know you love me. It’s funny… I’ve been at such a peace with myself lately, especially since the Broadway show I was in.
I AM SO sorry you didn’t get the officer promotion (I’m sure that’s not worded correctly, sorry.) I really am. I know how much that meant to you. The guy was apparently crazy. It’s a shame there are people out there that have to be that way. I really wish I could have done or said more for you. It’s hard when we’re so many miles apart! But cheer up! Things could be worse! This could have happened at a time when you only were coming home to Mom and Dad and baby bro. But not now. You’re also coming home to a woman who loves you very much and is going to make you feel more wanted than you could ever feel. Believe me, the 5 ½ days we’ll be spending together will be well worth it. I’ll make you at least temporarily forget your problems. And if you can’t… well, that’s what I’m here for also. Let me hear you get upset. You can explain more (if you want to) to me while I’m gently (or roughly, tee hee) rubbing your shoulders, feet, arms or whatever. Oh John… I love you so much! When I said I was sorry that happened to you, I really meant it. Sometimes life can seem so unfair. But it all evens out, I feel. I bet the guy who got the officership (for lack of a better word) doesn’t have a sexy, pretty, peppy, supportive girl back home waiting for him. But… you do!
I have a couple of jokes for you.
Arnold Palmer and an aggie were talking. Arnold Palmer pulled out some golf tees from his pocket and the aggie asked what they were for. A. Palmer siad “they’re to put your balls on while you drive.” The aggie replied “What will they think of next?”
Do you know how to tell when a man’s wife is too fat? When she sits on his face and he can’t hear the stereo. (An expression of lips shaped in the O and eyes/eyebrows raised should happen about now.) TEE HEE! Do you know what I mean about the expression?
In another 7 days and about 12 hours, we’ll be in each other’s arms!
Make sure and tell your mom (or should I say, ask) about me having Thanksgiving over there. I really wanna have it together, don’t you? I know you do. You just haven’t had time to think about all that, which is quite understandable. I could go on and have dinner with Bryant and Barb and you could have it at your house, but that wouldn’t be near as much fun, would it? We need to spend as much time together as possible.
I tell you what! I’ll rub off on you these 5 days. I’ve been in a great mood! People have really wanted to be around me. I’m the girl to be with. TEE HEE!
Page 2
Everybody's been asking about you at church, especially yesterday. Even though I hadn’t heard from you in 10 days, I could very assuredly say “Everything’s great.” They’d say I looked great and must still be in love. Isn’t that neat?
I’m going to dinner with Steve (the friend I told you about whom I want to fix up with Mary.) He’s probably pretty serious about this Erica girl, he’s dating, but I figured what the heck! It won’t hurt to ask. I’m going to sit down at Chili’s tonight with him and the first thing I’m going to say is “So, are you real serious with this Erica, or are you going out with my sister?” Even if he’s serious with Erica, he’s they type to get a kick out of the candid approach. I love to be spontaneous like that. (Which reminds me of all the fun things that have been going through my mind about our five days together.) How long before you’ll be back for the Christmas holidays? I know it’s not much longer. I know the Christmas Ball is on the 6th. So, is it the 10th or 15th, something like that?
I LOVE YOU!
One day, my precious, we’re going to be together all the time. No more rarely talking, rarely seeing each other, rarely holding each other. It can be every night. That’s just really hard to believe right now. But you know, we’re at the easiest part. At least for me. Probably not for you. What I mean is, we have Thanksgiving in 8 days, Christmas together for about 3 weeks (right?) after that, I’ll probably come up (maybe) in January for my birthday (I’m not going to want to spend it with anyone but you,) and you’ll be down in February for yours, then in March (our one year anniversary) there will be Spring Break. After that, well, just 2 ½ more months and you’ll be out for good! Oh, that’s hard to believe! I am finally seeing a light at the end of this long tunnel. But, it has been an adventure!
Gotta go, if I’m going to send this at lunch.
BYE!
If This is It - by Huey Lewis
NOVEMBER 19, 1986
Wednesday
Last night Carl Scaglione came over to my place and after Moonlighting, we visited. It was a good visit. He’s been doing some professional acting and commercials. He just did a layout for a dentist’s magazine; he took the place of Howie Mandell because he couldn’t do it. That’s pretty neat to be second to Howie Mandell! It should be a funny layout and poster on what not to do for your teeth and Carl will be demonstrating all the bad things to do. I’ll have to call Dr. Johnson (Barry’s dad) and ask him to save it for me. That’s pretty weird.
We did a lot of talking, and after a couple of glasses of wine, I was freewheeling to speak. But let me tell you, I have a headache today. (2021 - BIG TAKEAWAY - Always wished Carl and I met later in life - OR probably just remained friends... we had sooo much in common. I was incredibly naiive/innocent when we dated - tho I knew myself well even at an early age.. He told me recently that he was scared when he saw these pics of the military guy thinking he was gonna come beat him up - lol -- EVER so funny!)
NOVEMBER 24, 1986
Monday
Well, tomorrow night John is coming in and I’m as apprehensive as I can be. Last week and the week before, I was psyched, but now am scared out of my gourd. Maybe if he’d been calling me during the past seven days, I’d feel better. I just went back and reread some of the past few days, and I certainly was feeling better at that time than now. I’m sure once I see his face, I’ll be fine. I really go through this every time we’re about to see each other, but since we’vbe had the longest break of all this time, it seems worse than ever. Even though tings will be fine once we’re together, I DO feel I need to mention that I am the type that needs a little more attention than I’m receiving. He was so excellent in the beginning. But isn’t it always more romantic the first htree months or so? Even though I don’t expect to get flowers much anymore or whatever, I need the phone calls, some letters and a lot of “I love you’s.”
The last time we talked, he told me about not getting his officership and he was down in the dumps. I told him I loved him and he said “Thank you.” I understood that he was down, but I’d like to have heard from him by now to see how he’s doing. He was supposed to call last Thursday AND last night and didn’t either time. What irks me about this, is I know there’d be no problem if there wasn’t distance between us. I am positive of that.
I have, however, been feeling this way off and on for over a month. I think tomorrow night, we’re going to have a good talk. I wanna find out what he wants from this relationship; what he wants from me and what he expects to give. I can’t ignore feelings that are inside me. I’m curious as to what he’d say if I mentioned dating other people when he’s out of town for a long time. I don’t really want to, but I’m just curious about his reaction. I learned this weekend that I really don’t want to be with anyone else but him. Read on to find out why.
Throwing it All Away - Genesis
Just Give me One More Night
FRIDAY - I spent the evening with Randall and Barry at Barry’s apartment. WE danced and acted crazy, then played Monopoly. Randall was eyeing me a lot that night but that was it.
SATURDAY - I spent the whole day with Randall. Every time I turned around, I saw an opportunity to kiss Randall, but never wanted to. If it had been John, I would have kissed him every few seconds. I mean, he came to pick me up about noon, we rode around looking at cars (he wants a convertible,) then we went up to his office and played with his computer for a couple of hours. That was fun. I kept thinking if it were John, I would have attacked him on his desk. Later, we went to his house (Lake Ray Hubbard) and went boating; another good place to be romantic. But I didn’t want it with Randall. I just kept wishing that John was in his place. At one time, he was leaning back on his bed (talking to Barry) and I thought how if that were John I would go over and lay on top of him while he was on the phone; maybe kissing his ears, etc. and distracting him from the phone conversation. Oh that’d been a great evening if it were John instead of Randall. We lit a fire in the fireplace (Barry came over about 6:30) and all three went and sat in the jacuzzi. (Another great spot for me and John.)
(2021 comment - some of this doesn’t make sense.. I remember him leaning over his bed - NO BARRY… - almost certain we kissed? - If I’m very truthful, tho, there was MAD flirting going on.)
NOVEMBER 25, 1986
Tuesday
Well, I don’t know how to begin. Last night I was feeling really good and gradually getting over my anxiety about me and John and enjoying thinking about us being together tonight. Then about 8:30 or so, I called Bob (John’s father) to find out if I could ride with them to pick up John. I always have in the past. Well, I didn’t realize that all of John’s relatives who were coming in for Thanksgiving were already there. All of them are going together to pick up John. Bob said he had just hung up from John. I quickly ended the conversation thinking he probably was about to call me also. . (ah the days of waiting for a call, NO call waiting yet, either). He never did. You see I had no way of knowing whether his relatives were already there or not, I haven’t talked to John in over a week. He used to call 3-4 times a week. So I’m not going to be at the airport when he comes in (the first time since I’ve met him.) After hanging up from his father and waiting an hour and still no call from John, I started crying. I had called him Sunday night when he didn’t call me, and he never returned my call.
I had decided to get all my crying over with, but not tell anyone about this episode until (if even then) I knew something more definite. As far as all this went, there COULD be a reasonable explanation for all of it.
It was 9:45 and I hadn’t REALLY started crying. I was watching Cagney & Lacey and tears were rolling down my face every so often. Then the phone rang. Thinking it was finally John, I ran to the phone. It wasn’t. It was Mary. Bless her heart, everytime she calls, I’m thinking it’s John and sound disappointed when it’s not. She noticed. She asked what was going on and I told her nothing. She said “What’s wrong?” and I told her I really wished she hadn’t called because I didn’t want to tell anyone about everything. Well, she said “Hey, I’m your sister, and I promise that it will be just between you and me.” Well I told her about my apprehensions, John not calling, etc. She told me to hold tight and maybe a lot of it is in my mind. She also said that as far as the calls go, he may have been told (by his father) to cut way back on the long-distance calls because he is CHARGING them all to his father’s phone bill, so he might have decided not to call since he will be seeing me this week. She could be right about that. I asked her “Well, what am I supposed to do tomorrow night (tonight), I had planned in the evening around John and now may not even see him at all.” She said that since I’m not going with them to pick him up at the airport, I need to do something else. If he calls and wants me to come over later, it might be just a little bit smart to just not be there. If he leaves a message on the machine, I can call him later tonight or tomorrow. “Let’s face it, for the past eight months, his parents have hardly even seen him without me; and now with all his relatives in town, it might be a good time to let them all visit. He hasn’t seen them (relatives) in about five years.” If things are fine, which I’m sure they are (cough, cough),I’ll have a chance to meet them in the next few days. She told me to play it just a little cooler; not cold by any means, just don’t let my emotions run away (which everyone in my family tends to do) from me. What Mary did was give me the exact advice I had just given her within the past week. She said “Janie, it was great advice, practice what you preach.” And we both kinda laughed.
(2021 comment - Clarification - if THIS was all written/typed Tuesday - all this conversation and me calling Bob K, must have happened Monday night.)
I feel better just writing all this down. If for some reason, he doesn’t call at all, I’m going to remember what holiday it is, Thanksgiving, and send him a Thank You card for the most wonderful and exciting eight months, probably, of my life. It’ll be a very nice thing to do, and without sounding too bad, maybe make him feel a little guilty and realize how great I am. TEE HEE! And you know what? I am! I refuse (if it’s over) to let the end of a relationship tear me up and make me bitter. A lot of good things came out of this relationship. But we’ll write more on this type of stuff only if necessary. I ought to do some work right now.
Throwing it All Away - Genesis
I will write in December about details - but THAT same nite when John flew in DFW and I was frantic/anxious - I finally went to get my mail (I was soooo bad at doing that in an apartment) - and this was in there - apparently had been written November 19th - just TWO days after he and I talked on that Sunday evening. If I recall, I cried soooooooooooo much, I had to miss work the next day.
This letter was given to me at the very most two days after I wrote him. My letter to him was Nov. 17, Carl S. came over Nov. 19 and the "Dear Jane" letter was Nov.. 19. geesh - IF I had just gone to the mailbox sooner....
At This Moment
Billy Vera
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