WALTZ FOR CHE AND EVA (Barry & Janie) - January 1985

JANUARY 9, 1985

Wednesday

ANOTHER NEW YEAR.

Monday during the day I was talking to Mary, LouAnn and Terry about how Barry wants to get a ring. All three agreed that you can go to outlets, wholesale places, and discount houses for engagement rings and they’re every bit as good as Zales, Adelsteins or Corrigans. I haven’t talked much about it for over three weeks because both Barry and I decided to not talk about getting married for a while.

Then out of the blue that night, Barry said “When would you like to go looking at rings?” I said “Really?” and he replied with “I am serious this time and incredibly excited about going to look.” I was SO taken by surprise. We’re going next week, maybe Monday night.

Tonight I’m going over to Mom and Dad’s, go out to eat and at 7:30 I have Choir practice. Afterwards, Barry may come over to Mom and Dad’s.

(2021 comment about church & Choir - Jim Henderson, my former Richland Choir Director was the church choir director and I sang “The Messiah” with them at Christmas… I was greeted with such warmth and acceptance and many knew me as well as my sweet Momma (and a few knew Mary & Bryant. The first person to shake my hand and greet me was Larry Flynt and I recognized that sweet face and red hair. I was immediately asked to go to Pairs & Spares Sunday School by my lovely Bea Knagg I had re-met in Choir. It was like I had never missed church!)

(Look closely at my necklace - Barry gave it to me - a heart with a diamond in the middle... to signify his Love for me)

JANUARY 14, 1985

Monday

I am so excited!! Tonight Barry and I are going to LOOK at engagement rings. I have been wishy washy about being engaged for awhile and I couldn’t make up my mind if I was ready or not. Well, I do believe I am ready!!! I want a solitaire on a high base. I like both white and yellow gold.

JANUARY 15, 1985

Tuesday

Life becomes more exciting each day. I so enjoyed looking and trying on rings last night. If Barry feels a little better we’re going to Wilson’s tonight to look. His back is really bothering him.

Last night we looked at Gordon’s and Adelsteins mainly. I found two rings I liked at both places for very reasonable prices.

It’s 4:00 p.m. and I’m incredibly tired. I have voice lessons at 7:00 p.m. I don’t know whether I’ll be in the mood to go shopping for rings at all or not. Right now I feel like I am going to fall over. Barry and I stayed up late talking last night. He didn’t have to work today, but I did!

JANUARY 17, 1985

Thursday

I did NOT like the rings at Wilson’s at all. I am most impressed with Adelstein’s and Gordons. We should go shopping again sometime. I’m definitely taking of Tuesday, January 29th, the day after my birthday. Barry will already be off that day, so we can go somewhere Monday night to celebrate and stay out late. Maybe Tuesday we’ll go looking around at ALL the stores we haven’t looked at before.

January 26 - Our group went to see "Starman" and tho it says El Chico -we went to Snuffers afterward.

JANUARY 28, 1985

Monday

Today is my 24th birthday. I’m getting older and older every year. (Does that shock you?) Barry, Mary, Mom, Dad & Barbara (Dad’s secretary) have all called me today to wish me a happy birthday.

Tonight Barry and I are going to Di Palma’s restaurant for Italian food. Afterwards, we are going to the Reunion lounge (Antares) for drinks. That’ll be fun. I have a new dress I bought at Margo’s Saturday. Nancy Munoz and I went shopping and I found this one dress. It's a beige and white striped skirt and a woven brown and white sweater top. I love it. (2021 - I LOVED Margo’s!)

I’ve been really good about keeping busy, but these last 30 minutes are the hardest.

We have a lot of things tomorrow on our days off, but we have to renew my driver’s license, get Barry an orange belt for karate, and get our pictures taken at Sears. After all that, we can go looking for rings. We’ll have a good day. I can stay gone all day, as long as I’m at my voice lessons by 7:00 at Richland.

JANUARY 30, 1985

Wednesday

Today (starting yesterday) has to be one of the saddest days of my life. I thought yesterday was going to be SO terrific, but it was awful. I don’t know if Barry REALLY loves me or not.

After Barry and I arrived at Valley View Mall yesterday, (I had taken the whole day off to look at rings and get our pictures made) we went straight away to get our pictures taken. We had a good time doing that and then we went into Zales. We didn’t stay there very long at all because we were hungry for lunch; so we got something to eat and we were still having a great time.

Then we went to Keepsake Jewelry. A guy was in there talking to the salesman and finding out exactly how to select a good diamond. I was very interested in this so I told Barry and asked him to sit down with me to hear.. Shortly, the customer left and the salesman devoted his time to us. We were in there (oh I don’t know) anywhere from 15-30 minutes. I tried on a lot of rings. Both round solitaire and matching puzzle rings. I was having a great time. (2021 - what the heck is a matching puzzle ring, you may ask? When part of the ring is the engagement/diamond part and when you get married, another piece of the ring (band only) fits into the lower part - almost like a puzzle…)

When we left, Barry said out of the blue “I just don’t know if I’m ready for marriage.” I stopped in my tracks with my mouth hanging open. “What did you say?” He kept saying things like that even in the toy store we walked in. Neither one of us were really looking around. I asked him if he ever planned to marry me and he said he wants to get married in October. He said if he just had $1,000 in the bank he wouldn’t hesitate. I told him we didn’t have to have a ring right then and he still hesitated. I told him through thick and thin, richer and poorer, I’d stand by him. He got to where he was not even mentioning marriage at all. I told him I wouldn’t wait forever. That made him mad. Finally I said “Take me home, now.”

On the way to the apartment, we argued. I couldn’t believe he was even bringing things up like that. I thought we had already been all through that. I told him money wasn’t everything, but our love was. He said he felt pressured by other people into marriage. But then I said the only reason anyone has said anything halfway about marriage was because he brought it up first. He was the first to bring it up between us. Even just Saturday night, he asked Scott if he’d be the disc jockey at our wedding. Now maybe I’m crazy, but in my opinion, that sounds like someone who wants to get married; and relatively soon, I might add. Oh, the more I think about it the madder I get.

After we got to the apartment, it still went around in circles and I told him if he really loved me then he would marry me. In my opinion, if you’re hopelessly in love, you do not get cold feet. He needs to recognize his problem before he throws it on me. He still cannot figure out why I’m mad. After most of our conversation (with me crying a whole lot), he said he felt better. Well, bully for him! I felt worse. He felt better because he got off his chest what he had been harboring for some time now. What he couldn’t understand is, while he was bearing his soul and making himself feel better, he was unloading a bomb on me. And he expected me to feel better because he did. Oh, that made me even madder. He still, today, cannot understand why I’m mad. Well, he has a lot to learn. I feel like he needs to marry me in 1985 or it’s off! I think we need to stay away from each other for a while and think. Tonite I’m going over there before church.

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and listen to the lyrics

Tell Me Before you Go out of my Life...